I have completed my mini HMR all I can eat HMR 800 shakes for the last 40 days and I stated back to the process of going to regular food since I am going on vacation next week. I am going to visit some family that I have been needing to see and trying to go back to Brazil (Brazil where all my problems started) and maybe this time I will be better when I return.

The last 40 days I have lost about 30 pounds and feeling great. I was up to 42 jeans and now back to size 38 and soon into 36/34 and I am happy at that size. I will keep up my exercising and continue on with what I am doing and I should be ok. This time I will continue in my maintenance classes and not screw myself up.

I am still unemployed and can hold myself for a few more months until I really need to make some tough decisions and most likely lose my house and the life that I know. Already everything has changed and instead of eating myself in happiness I am trying to lose weight for happiness. It sounds much easier than it is!

Nothing else new here and after vacation I would love to do another HMR fast because the weight just melts off

First – I received a few emails lately and if you are new to this blog please go way back to the original day 36 – this is my mini HMR fast day 36

I will have to sort out how to write these to separate my fast from last year to this year.

Nothing new to report – still going strong on 1200 calories a day and losing weight. I am not doing daily weigh-ins this time around but I can see changes already occurring and this plan (HMR diet) does work. The challenge is getting through the first couple of days and you can make it.

HMR maintenance class was good last night and I am on day 26 of my all liquid fast (second time around – see my original day 26 for all the details).

I lost 6 pounds this week and feeling good at the weigh in. The strange part is that I am doing more shakes then the first time I did the HMR diet – I was doing 800 calories a day last year and now I am doing 1200 calories a day and losing more weight. The only difference is that I am exercising  from the start of the diet with at least an hour of fast walking every day until I can get into the groove/motivation to run again.  I am also taking a top quality vitamins I purchased and not the HMR vitamins along with fish oil capsules. I don’t think the HMR vitamins are bad, I had these from before and since I paid for them I might as well take them.

I feel so much better and motivated again.  I am in my routine now and I will continue shakes until November when I take some time away and visit my family that I haven’t seen in awhile. I will try to do 3 shakes and two meals during that time with lots of fruits and veggies… it should be good and then when I return back to all shakes. YES – going on and off shakes is tough – it is a mental game that I had fought for some time. I actually tried to go back on shakes several times but always gave in. I went to a wedding about a month ago and couldn’t fit into any of my clothes so I had to buy a pair of pants (All my previous fat pants I donated to goodwill) and then when I saw the pictures I freak out that I was getting FAT again and that is what I needed and here I am now back on shakes. Shakes are starting to feel like a hobby to me… A hobby that I hope to quit soon!

So far so good – day 25 again for the second time. Wow – I can’t believe a month is almost completed and I things are going well. I have dropped around 22 pounds and feeling great. I do not feel hungry and things are going just like it did the first time. If you are new to this blog please go way back to August last year and read it from the beginning.

PA is up and tonight I have class. I won’t post my weight but I am doing well and I can already see changes in my jeans and my shirts.

I will update this later after my HMR maintenance class

Donna – I hope you get better soon!!!

Well I made it through my second weekend and today is the 15th straight day back on the liquid fast and things are moving along. I need to get my PA increased and lift weights again but overall I am happy.

I haven’t weighed myself yet but I plan to later today. I’m not very concerned about the scale, I know that I am losing weight and I needed to use one size smaller on my belt yesterday and if I give it time I will be back to my goal weight.

Today is our status update day and I never call I just send an email and say how things are going, etc. I have to say that things are going well. My body is pretty much adjusted now and I’m not feeling tired or worn out and no other side effects. I go into spurts where  am really full of energy but I don’t feel drained or tired. My hunger feeling is going away I have noticed and not craving anything and I am getting into a real stride now.

To Do’s I have:

-Clean up blog and redue links, etc

-Put blog into word format to make it easy to download and read. (I have it downloaded in xml but can’t convert to work or pdf yet)

-Start streching

-Lift weights

Today is day 10 of the quick fast to lose my 42 pounds I gained back, so far the weight is coming off but it always does the first few weeks at a very fast rate…

If you are new to this blog please go all the way back to the original posts about the original day 10 from last year.

I’m doing better now readjusting to the fast since I had my meltdown and fell back into my past routines but I guess if I never made any mistakes I would not learn anything. Generally speaking the first time I went through the HMR plan it was the first 2 weeks that was tough and then it felt like I was in automatic mode until week 12 or so and then it became tough due to the repetitiveness of shake after shake.

I am working out again, slow at first to get into a new routine and let the muscle soreness to pass and then working my way into something solid and into a routine. I’m doing ok on my shakes but I still get hungry at night but it doesn’t feel like real hunger but more out to habit. I remember last year is that the first 3 days were tough and days 9 to 14 was tough… Maybe it is my body adjusting to the diet. I already see changes in my face and my stomach… I love the fist 2 weeks, the weight just melts away…

I still need to work on my water, I am not getting enough currently but trying to get into the routine but soon it will all be together..

Quick update – Sorry I didn’t get to write as much as I wanted to the past few days, for some reason my days have been filled with busy work. I did update this blog (all the behind scenes stuff you can;t see like WorkPress) and now I need to clean off those dead links from the home page and try to organize it. I’m not too sure if I like the home page layout yet but I wanted to have something new until I can find something better.

So last week I attended my HMR maintenance class on  Thursday, it was rather small showing but overall a good class.  I won’t write about class this week but just wanted to update everyone about where I am. As I was saying last message I gained roughly 40+ pounds since I returned from my vacation in March and I am working hard to return to my previous habits and my goal weight. My behavioral educator at HMR (Isn’t there a better word for them than that?) is very supportive and said that even that I gained weight back I kept 90 pounds off and being in class getting is the right was to deal with it. She is great!

Well I spoke to her about going on all shakes again (liquid fast) to get myself into a groove and I didn’t want to have the blood work done and all the other expenses especially since I am without a job so I agree to stay above 1200 calories and continue so I have having roughly 1200 a day. My day consist of six HMR 800 chocolate shakes made as hot chocolates and 2 HMR70+ puddings as my snack.

So far I have been on this for 8 days and feeling good, feeling better than I was medicating myself with food. Mentally it is much harder now and I was told it is tough to go off shakes and back on them but I would like to stay on the fast until I get to the 220’s. I have not decided how long I will do shakes for, I originally intend to do shakes again for a week or two but I think that I will go for a few weeks and maybe a month. I’m exercising again and back into the gym and growing into my new routine.

I will make some more updated and I have a few things in mind to add to the site including my past vacation photos and more about me…

As I was saying here yesterday I have returned and actually doing a mini HMR plan of three weeks on all shakes and then a healthy solutions plans or maybe 3/4 shakes and 1/2 meals a day until I get my weight down.

I have gained weight over the last few months, when I came home from Brazil in March I weighed roughly 210 pounds which for my and my height was a good weight.

Today after months of denial and  jumped back on the scale and found that I weigh 262 pounds…. ahhhhhhhhhhh I gained 52 pounds… so amazing and quick…

I have no excuse for it, I didn’t jump off the wagon I lept from it.

Having nothing in my life only caused problems and the self medicating with food and worst part I really didn’t enjoy the food but had most of it out of boredom or just simple pleasures.

I will update this post and post other messages over today and tomorrow.

I guess that sometimes a person needs to fall backwards before they can go forward again.

I have some much needed maintenance to do on this blog and I need to write all the people who gave me support over the last few months.

I have been asking myself lately if I really know who I am and the answer is that I do not. I am not sure who I am anymore and what I am capable of becoming.

I have lost the desire that I had just months ago and now feeling like doing nothing and giving up but for some reason I still have a small flicker of not giving up.

I’m not here to feel sorry for myself, I have done enough of that over the last few weeks since I have lost my job.

Now is the time to rebuild and pull myself together and move on and go back to the gym, back to my diet and back to a life.

The only comfort in my life is food right now and food is also my worst enemy.

I will write more about all of this later….

For positive news:

I have broke my habit of diet coke – I have had 2 diet cokes in the last 3 weeks when I use to have 4 or 5 diet cokes a day. If you do a Google search for “diet coke addiction” you would be amazed at all the articles you will find.

Next is that I have started going back to my HMR maintenance classes but struggling to get back into the groove that I was in.

Lastly: I applied for a volunteer job at a horse riding center where I will get to work with children and other adults and I passed my first interview and was accepted to be a volunteer. I will go to orientation later this month!

I’m back as you can see and I wish that I could come with happier news. Since my return from Brazil my life has fallen apart since I lost my job and I have gained back about 20 pounds and a member of my family has went back to her abusive husband that she left a year ago..

This week I will start again and get back to my HMR ways and see if I can shake some of my bad habits and lose some weight