Nosce Te Ipsum (Know Thyself)

May 12, 2009

I have been asking myself lately if I really know who I am and the answer is that I do not. I am not sure who I am anymore and what I am capable of becoming.

I have lost the desire that I had just months ago and now feeling like doing nothing and giving up but for some reason I still have a small flicker of not giving up.

I’m not here to feel sorry for myself, I have done enough of that over the last few weeks since I have lost my job.

Now is the time to rebuild and pull myself together and move on and go back to the gym, back to my diet and back to a life.

The only comfort in my life is food right now and food is also my worst enemy.

I will write more about all of this later….

For positive news:

I have broke my habit of diet coke – I have had 2 diet cokes in the last 3 weeks when I use to have 4 or 5 diet cokes a day. If you do a Google search for “diet coke addiction” you would be amazed at all the articles you will find.

Next is that I have started going back to my HMR maintenance classes but struggling to get back into the groove that I was in.

Lastly: I applied for a volunteer job at a horse riding center where I will get to work with children and other adults and I passed my first interview and was accepted to be a volunteer. I will go to orientation later this month!

4 Comments »

1. 

   Hey you – I know what your going through – I lost my drive too… just dissappeared & the weight started comming back…
   This past Tuesday, I re-committed to getting back into the program, it’s so much harder this time, but only after two days, I seem to have all this new energy, which I did not have even a week ago. I think if I can commit to even 2 weeks, I’ll find the mo-jo to lose the rest of this weight. Keep me updated on how things go.
   BTW, WTG on the volunteer program!

   Comment by donna — May 14, 2009 @ 1:51 pm

2. 

   Ken, you NEED to change your thinking. From all I have read about you this past year, you are a great guy and remember your job does not make who you are. Try to look at this as a positive change in your life. This past year has been a HUGE change for you and this is the best time to take that and do something that will support the lifestyle that you really want. Remember to get something you never had, you need to do something you have never done. So, to keep the body that you want, it might be really good to have a different job and surroundings that will support that. You can do it, look at what you have done! Put one foot in front of the other and get back in a forward motion. We all get things thrown at us and we need to figure out how to keep doing what we know is healthy for us. Just when I got to my goal, 88 lbs lost, I had to have my gallbladder out and again change my diet. This has been challenge, but one that I know that I have to do. Just like you HAVE to do this, and I know that you can. You did too much to get yourself where you are, to let yourself go back to what you were. Sorry I rambled, but I know you can do it.

   Comment by Lauren — May 14, 2009 @ 6:26 pm

3. 

   Glad to see you’re untangling the traps that bind. I have been on a similar path. HMR for several months and about half way to a distant goal. Then – last week – Poof! the job just went away. I haven’t lost the desire to reach and maintain, but I have been tested and am nervous A LOT. My thought is this: no matter the job or belief system you ascribe to – THAT (whatever THAT is for you) – is the source of your power and income – not a job. A better fit will find you!

   Comment by d kisling — May 21, 2009 @ 11:48 pm

4. 

   Hi Ken – just wandered over here after a long while to see how you’re doing. I’m very sorry to hear about your job loss and the struggles you’re having. I agree with what Lauren wrote. You’ve accomplished a MAJOR feat with all that weight loss. AMAZING job at it. This volunteer job may lead into something different and rewarding employment-wise. I’m keeping positive thoughts for you. Take care.

   Comment by Tisha — June 19, 2009 @ 11:41 am

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